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Rule Britannia

Because........

Only in britton.........

  • Can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance
  • Do supermarkets make sick people walk to the back to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy ciggorettes at the front
  • Do people order double chease-burgers large fries and a DIET coke
  • Do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters
  • Do we leave our cars worth thousands of pounds out on the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawnmower in the garage
  • Do we use an answering machiene to screen calls and then have a call waiting so we wont miss a call from some one we didnt want to talk to in the first place
  • Are there disabled parking spaces in front of an ice skating rink

Dead Presidents

Abraham Lincoln was elected to congress in 1846.

John F. Kennedy was elected to congress in 1946.

Abraham Lincoln was elected president in 1860.

John F. Kennedy was elected president in 1960.

The names Lincoln and Kennedy each contain seven letters.

Lincoln's secretary was named Kennedy.

Kennedy's secretary was named Lincoln.

Both presidents were shot on a friday.

Both presidents were shot in the head.

Both presidents were shot by Southerners.

Both presidents were succeeded by Southerners.

Both successors were named Johnson.

Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808.

Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.

John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born in 1839.

Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939.

Both assassins were known by their three names.

The names of the assassins are made up of fifteen letters.

Booth ran from the theatre and was caught in a warehouse.

Oswald ran from a warehouse and was caught in a theatre.

Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.

And last but not least:

A week before Lincoln was shot he was in Monroe, Maryland.

A week before Kennedy was shot he was in Marilyn Monroe.